My dear Grimms…
Today we discuss toxicity.
Have you ever noticed how certain things or people just bring toxicity into your life? It seems like a no brainer to just cut things like this out of our lives but you know what? A lot of us don’t. We cling on thinking that we can somehow wrangle out a different result. Why do we do this?
I can only speak for myself on this and not for everyone but I do have an idea what it is for me. I can defend someone else all day long but I have a terrible time sticking up for myself. I don’t know what it is but I honestly… sigh… have trouble with this.
Is it the fear of confrontation? The idea that there’s gotta be good in everyone? The want to keep the peace? The guilt of hurting someone’s feelings even when they deserve it?
Gah! I’m not 100% sure but as I get older I feel like it has a lot to do with the last two things. I don’t like fighting. I really don’t. I know it’s cliche but it really brings out the worst in everyone. There’s so much ugliness in the world I don’t want to bring in more.
Which brings us to the point of trying to keep the peace.
I also don’t enjoy hurting people. Even when they do things to hurt me I feel guilty if I hurt them. I don’t know they’re state of mind! Do we really know the extent of the harm our words cause someone else?
When I’m defending someone else these hesitations go out the window but when it comes to myself it’s like I’m frozen. The problem is these things prevent me from letting go of toxic people in my life that are no good for my mental well being.
I think we all know the type of person I’m referring to. They drain you. They hurt you. They just make your life chaotic. Sometimes they’re people in your family, people you call friends, or people you’re intimate with. This makes it so much harder to set boundaries.
Maybe that’s the biggest thing we have to do.
Set a boundary as enforce it but that can be so hard. Especially with people that are close to you. It’s like I’m afraid to offend them! Which I realize doesn’t make any sense. But I’m going to truly work on it.
I deserve to protect my mental health. I deserve to have my boundaries respected. This is something we all deserve! And I know it’s hard to do that for some of us but we have to try because we are worthy of it.
I’m currently dealing with a situation that triggered this post and I’m trying to reaffirm myself that it is okay for me to say, “No. This is not good for me.” I’m not saying I’m going to hate on this person but it is okay for us to let them go in peace for our own peace.
So my message is for anyone who is going through something similar that it’s okay. It’s okay to say enough is enough and do what’s best for you. No matter who it is the people in our lives are not supposed to make us feel like we’re walking on egg shells or that we have to constantly sit in silence in fear of starting a fight. They shouldn’t call us names or tear us down.
For me I’m dealing with someone who at one point I would have considered a friend. I’m having to remind myself of what an honest friend looks like. Whatever or whoever you’re dealing with remember that you get to set your boundaries and the people who are meant to be in your life will respect them.
So stay strong Grimms ❤ and wish me luck in working out the situation I’m currently in. Good vibes only!
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